This is actually my first time sharing my thought about Hyunseung’s withdrawal from BEAST. I actually knew it was coming when all of them were crying during Beautiful Show last year. It was heart wrecking to see those photos. I was tweeting the possibility of it on twitter and B2UTYs were telling me, “No, don’t say such horrible scary things. Believe in them. It’s only for enlistment.” Nevertheless I already felt that, “Ah crying like this. It can’t just be because of enlistment.” Seeing that, I got so scared then because that was what MBLAQ did; had a concert, cried during that, then shortly after Joon and Sanghyun left. The two events had the same feeling. That’s why I already cried my share then and was more prepared when it came now. Even so, I still haven’t grasped it yet. I can’t bear with it. I feel numb. I feel like a coward for dodging this kind of issue. I feel helpless and powerless for not being able to protect them. I feel aggravated at BEAST for not keeping their promise and just making us hope. I feel infuriated at Cube for not defending him. And just not letting him continue as BEAST because in my perspective, him being solo would mean that he won’t have someone to support him through his tough time like the current situation. If things were different—meaning they defended him and stood up for him— maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe I’m mistaken, I’m no fortune teller, I don’t know the standards over there and what’s really happening because I’m not from or there. However, I’m done finding out the reason why they did it. But everything happens for a reason.
I still believe in you, guys. Though, I, on any condition, will not forget 2016-04-19. I haven’t accepted this yet. It might take long but their happiness is first priority. So B2UTYs let’s be strong for our boys considering they are the most that’s hurt right now. I love BEAST. It might feel incomplete but I’ll support them in anyway I can. See you there, see you later.
Mayu — Isha
Friday, 2016 April 22