I’m thinking about continuing the 30 Days Challenge. However, I think I should start like on the Day 8 of the month or something or do I just start all over since today is May 1? I don’t really know…

— Mayu

+8 GMT 2:17 AM 01/05/2016

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오랜만에다

아 한국어 브로그를 아주 오랜만에다. 점 바빴어 그리고 화제를 생각이 없어 그래서 아직까지 못 썼다. 지금도 이브로그가 화제는 없는데. 그래도 한국어로 쓰고 싶었어 따라서 이곳에 있다. 하나 생각했어 근데 그 화제가 점 어럽는 것 같아서 안쓸거에요. 그장현승 이슈. 엄청 많이 느낌이 있어는데 한국어로 못표현하는 것 같았어요. 그이슈 제외하면, 다 생각이 사색하서 진짜 없다. 그렇기 때문에 머리 아프다. 너무 아파서 저는 지금까지 쓸거에요. 지루한 사람되서 미안하다. 안녕 ㅋㅋㅋ

—마유

 

Will you be alright

This is actually my first time sharing my thought about Hyunseung’s withdrawal from BEAST. I actually knew it was coming when all of them were crying during Beautiful Show last year. It was heart wrecking to see those photos. I was tweeting the possibility of it on twitter and B2UTYs were telling me, “No, don’t say such horrible scary things. Believe in them. It’s only for enlistment.” Nevertheless I already felt that, “Ah crying like this. It can’t just be because of enlistment.” Seeing that, I got so scared then because that was what MBLAQ did; had a concert, cried during that, then shortly after Joon and Sanghyun left. The two events had the same feeling. That’s why I already cried my share then and was more prepared when it came now. Even so, I still haven’t grasped it yet. I can’t bear with it. I feel numb. I feel like a coward for dodging this kind of issue. I feel helpless and powerless for not being able to protect them. I feel aggravated at BEAST for not keeping their promise and just making us hope. I feel infuriated at Cube for not defending him. And just not letting him continue as BEAST because in my perspective, him being solo would mean that he won’t have someone to support him through his tough time like the current situation. If things were different—meaning they defended him and stood up for him— maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe I’m mistaken, I’m no fortune teller, I don’t know the standards over there and what’s really happening because I’m not from or there. However, I’m done finding out the reason why they did it. But everything happens for a reason.

I still believe in you, guys. Though, I, on any condition, will not forget 2016-04-19. I haven’t accepted this yet. It might take long but their happiness is first priority. So B2UTYs let’s be strong for our boys considering they are the most that’s hurt right now. I love BEAST. It might feel incomplete but I’ll support them in anyway I can. See you there, see you later.

#beast #ot6

Mayu — Isha
Friday, 2016 April 22
2:30AM KST

It’s been a while again

16●04●17 3:54PM 8+ GMT

Hi! It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog again. I didn’t even finish my 30 day challenge! I’m such a failure. Kekeke I was just busy and stuff.

I worked last February at as a customer service agent and things was just stressful because I was working while studying, I didn’t know why I did but it was kinda fun. I shall tell in another post.

I’ll try to write more. ^^

I was still carefree when I started writing this, well not really carefree. But bubbly? But anyways, I shall post this before…

—Mayu
16●04●21